Yours to Give and Ours to Share
by mimiyurin
Summary: He vanished into thin air, and she was left waiting. She had no other choice, she reasoned, not when he was the only one who could give her forever. But maybe she hadn't really known what 'forever' was.


_He vanished into thin air, and she was left waiting. But soon she'll walk, and pretty soon she'll run. And she'll be running into the future and she'll make him proud and she'll make herself proud. 'Coz I followed my star, and that's what you are.' _

* * *

**Yours to Give and Ours to Share**

* * *

He vanished into thin air, and she was left waiting.

That's how the old song and dance went, how it always went. He'd been through it before, so many times. Too many times. But he never stopped looking, never stopped searching for someone who could stay by his side. But nobody could walk beside a god forever. The lonely god.

All the more lonely because once, a goddess had stood beside him. For one shining moment, they both imagined what it would be like to have forever to themselves. But the Doctor had to do what he did best. The Doctor doctors even when the cure is sometimes just as painful and he taught it to her, his brightest girl. And it was because it was her that he entrusted her with this patient.

She knew. Rose knew, as the other Doctor took her hand in his that she'd been left behind again. No matter how he phrased it, the Doctor had left her standing on Bad Wolf Bay again.

Bad Wolf, it had been a message to bring her back to the Doctor. And she had done it, time and time again, fighting to get back to him. To stay by his side. But as Rose looked at the other Doctor, she knew that she wouldn't be able to do it. She wasn't a god, even with the TARDIS burning inside her, she couldn't leave someone who needed her. Even with the powers of life and death at her touch, all she wanted was to protect the Doctor. 'My Doctor'.

Fleetingly, she hungered for power again; the kind of power that had let her call him her own. Then the other Doctor's hand shifted in hers and the moment was gone. The hunger of the wolf left her and she was just Rose again. Emptied out and hollowed out, a container named Rose. She wondered what Rose hungered for.

Maybe she didn't want anything anymore. She was just a leftover memory now, another name in the long list of his sorrows. And while he had made his promises, the last of which still hovered unsaid in the salty ocean breeze, Rose couldn't quite believe in them right then. But that was okay, she deserved it. After all, hadn't she broken hers?

Once, she imagined herself as a goddess. Maybe it wasn't the sea air that gave her that saline taste on her tongue.

Rose sighed, the quiet breath of air escaping her lungs. She didn't seem to notice she sighed at all. She also didn't seem to notice the man beside her, peering at her unobtrusively from the corner of his eyes. As if he was afraid to intrude. Despite his physical presence here and now, despite the very real warmth connecting him to her, it seemed that the words 'he' had not spoken meant more than the words that he did.

Rose seemed little more than a phantom. So different from the solid, determined defender of the earth she had been just moments before. Almost as ephemeral as a broken promise.

Rose knew, rationally, that she would snap out of this waking coma soon enough. God there was so much to do, things like reassuring her mum staring at her worriedly from a distance, things like worrying about how the cold winds wouldn't be good for the baby, things like missing the loss of Mickey, things like letting her Torchwood team know they had saved every world. But like anesthesia, the unrelenting chill numbed her to her core.

She wondered if she could be snatched away on the currents as well, disappearing in between the ticks and tocks of time. Like a supernova blinking out of existence. How ironic. He had lost track of time. She was losing track of time too. She wanted to give herself to this sensation, to remember what it felt to have all of time and space running through her veins, enclosed in her palms.

But something else was in her hands now. It shifted, then as if making a decision, squeezed her hand tightly.

Startled, Rose was pulled back down and her thoughts left her, carried away by the Norwegian wind. She looked down to see what had anchored her, then up at the man linked to her. He squeezed her hand again, firmly.

A second passed, or maybe an eternity. She lost track.

Then she squeezed back, slowly but surely. Nothing was said between them for a long time afterwards, but Rose felt as if something had been spoken all the same. A promise had been made. A promise which they carried back to England with them in their interlinked hands.

* * *

She woke suddenly in the middle of the night, which was quite unusual for her. Rose had had a long and particularly exhausting day at Torchwood. With the help of the other Doctor (she couldn't quite bring herself to think of him as _the _Doctor just yet) Rose had been updating countless files and creating countless other ones. In other words, a day of paperwork.

While Rose was born for excitement and breed for adventure, she felt almost protected by the amount of clerical tasks she had to do. She assigned herself with them, like a shield she could use against things she didn't want to dwell on for too long. Things like a man who was…himself and not himself.

Rose was afraid, for the first time to search for adventure.

Her Doctor would've chided her, then grabbed her hand and led her to the stars. But while this Doctor still had eyes of starlight and curiosity, it also held other things. There were the still smoldering embers of war that he had been born into, but there was something new. Rose was afraid to think too long about it because she was afraid she would figure out what it was.

She didn't want new. She wanted her old Doctor. And maybe if she kept ignoring the voice inside her head, she could forget the happiness that the Doctor's last change had brought her.

Shaking the persistent ghosts of her mind she shook off her bed covers. If she was up anyway, might as well get a cup of water to drink. She passed by the other Doctor's room on her way back and paused. She approached the door and realized that there were faint noises inside, like someone trying to keep quiet. She reached for the doorknob and pulled the door open.

All other thoughts flew out of her head as one central one registered: he was in pain.

Instantly she was by his side, concerned hands supporting his sitting frame."What's wrong? Are you injured? Doctor?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, it's nothing I-hnng!"He tried to wave her hands aside but clutched at his sweat-soaked nightshirt as a fresh wave of pain seemed to hit him."I'm not injured, I just felt bad all of a sudden, I'm sure it'll pass."Rose stood by his bedside helplessly; frantically trying to think of what might be wrong when suddenly the mounting worry broke like the tide on the shore that day.

"He's dying isn't he." It wasn't a question. The other Doctor looked at her, his eyes full of a pain that seemed more than physical. "He's dying and you feel it. Oh god he's dying."

This time it was the other Doctor that moved towards her as Rose choked back a sob. It felt like the earth was spinning, spinning beneath her feet like the way he had described it to her. She slid to the ground, not noticing the other Doctor pushing back the covers and kneeling beside her.

It had been like that time too, the first time she watched her Doctor change. But she had been with him at that time. And she had stayed with him afterwards. She had walked the universe with the Doctor and fell in love with that man.

She turned to see the other Doctor looking at her, no more pain, just worry showing on his face. So that was it then. He regenerated. He was gone and somewhere in another universe a completely different man stood in his place. And here, in front of her, a man with his face.

And Rose cried. Cried for the sights she had seen, being at his side. Cried for the view of his back as she watched him save entire planets. Cried for the change he brought about in the world, and the change he brought about to her. She cried for the times she had with the Doctor and the times she would never have again. Her world had lost something irreplaceable, and her heart ached for the lack of it.

A tentative hand reached out to brush her hair, and stopped. She looked up at the man in front of her, who looked scared and worried and deeply, deeply sad. He didn't just have his face. He had the same soul. But there was something new in them, and maybe it was a little bit of Rose. And maybe, there was a little bit of something new in Rose too.

Suddenly, out of the blue, Rose had a thought. 'I wonder what his expression would be like the first time he lands on a foreign star.' Then, immediately following that: 'I wonder how he'll react to seeing a new species of alien.' Other similar curious questions came after and when Rose realized what they meant she nearly smiled.

'New new Rose' she almost said out loud to the Doctor, who was still looking at her with all the care and melancholy in the world. Instead, she settled for falling into his arms. He seemed surprised, but cautiously wrapped his arms around her in an embrace that seemed so familiar yet so foreign.

The Doctor was right. Whether he was the Doctor or not, here was a man that didn't want to see her cry. Here was a man who needed her. And she discovered that maybe, she needed him too.

"Doctor?"

"…Yes, Rose?"

"Thank you."

* * *

The tiny piece of the original TARDIS that the other Doctor had left them (strange how she had switched the two around) was working hard growing a new spaceship for this Doctor. In the meantime though, Rose had helpfully taken on the role of a tour guide for the Doctor, not quite to all of time and space, but at least where cars and the occasional zeppelin could take them.

She had decided a few months back that with all of the universe before him, the other Doctor couldn't have visited _every _place on Earth, and even if he had this was a parallel world and most importantly, they were just memories.

Old memories. Memories with other people. Whether it was out of a certain jealousy or otherwise, Rose was determined to be by the Doctor as he made some new memories, just for him.

One particular day they were leaning against a rock hand in hand watching the sun tint the Moai statues a deep orange. The Doctor was going on about how they weren't really statues but some mobile transport unit and how the Ynndet'gh of a planet named Apostro Rando used them for something involving names with more punctuation marks and the 27th King of Belgian. Rose looked at his animated face looking as he usually did when trying to describe aliens in 'pitifully lacking British English' and giggled.

"Say Doctor, we should get married."

He stopped and stared at her for a heartbeat before replying, "We really should shouldn't we?" Rose agreed. "Oh but that means we'll have a wedding. I'm no good with weddings."

"But I'll be your wife." The Doctor paused, as if considering the pros and cons.

"And I'd be your husband." Rose pointed out that was how marriage usually worked out.

The Doctor grinned. "Well then, Rose Tyler, what are we waiting for?" He pulled her up by the hand and started off towards the boat.

"Let's get married!"

* * *

After weeks of planning, weeks that might have gone faster had mother and daughter not agreed to disagree on several planning decisions, the wedding was set for a cheerful day in June. Despite her vastly improved relations with the Doctor, Jackie Tyler still had not gotten over her initial predication of doom and despair for Rose's wedding.

"You know, you could reconsider. I mean, you don't really have to marry him. It's fine sort of just to be with him. Now that he's got that TARDIS again, in the same tacky blue mind you, all sorts of things could happen. Do you really need a wedding? We haven't had one proper normal Earth Christmas since."

Rose just rolled her eyes and lifted her arms for dress measurements. She loved her mum, she really did. And Rose knew that the nervous record that had been on repeat for the past few days was just the result of Jackie's motherly the most comforting thing was that it was really nothing compared to the hour long speech her mother gave to the Doctor the day the couple had returned from Easter Island announcing the engagement.

(A decision, the Doctor had said, he was starting to regret. The announcing that is, not- not the engagement, definitely not the engagement. Sometimes he was really too adorable.)

"Next thing you know, the priest will turn out to be a Slitheen or the guests will be turned into Cybermen. What will I tell Harriet Jones when that happens? If the Prime Minister gets abducted by aliens I'll have to explain on the six o'clock news! 'Oh my daughter was just getting married to this alien madman.' Do you know if he can mass produce those sonic things of his? I think everyone ought to have one of those, just in case."

Rose laughed, interrupting her mother. 'Mum, it'll be fine. Don't worry! The priest is far too skinny to be a Slitheen and you can tell Harriet Jones that she'll be fine because Torchwood is going to be here and so will a team from UNIT. And really mum, he's not alien anymore alright? Listen, it'll be a bright beautiful day and nothing will go wrong."

And yes, it was a bright, beautiful day. And yes the priest was completely human and the Prime Minister gave her best wishes. And of course, as promised, the teams from UNIT and Torchwood were there and currently they were shouting urgent instructions for everyone to evacuate and avoid anything made of glass.

Rose was resplendent in a gorgeous layered affair of lace and silk, a beautiful bride despite her headpiece being torn off by one of the creatures who seemed to have developed a taste for her namesake flower.

The remains of her rose bouquet, eaten before it was thrown, remained forgotten in her hand as she directed a team of Torchwood agents. She did her best to enlighten them with what the Doctor had told her about the creatures' affinity with glass and the various utilities of a blowtorch that would be helpful should they use their teeth.

No sooner than she had turned around had Jackie Tyler, fearless as ever, ran up to privately thought that if nothing else worked, they throw her mum in front of the invading alien mob. She'd probably chase them back to their planet preaching all the way. Jackie Tyler wouldn't give a damn about the laws of physics anyways.

The image that formed in her head would've made her giggle but contrary to whatever her mum thought, Rose did have a preservation instinct. She could probably thank her dad for that.

"What did I tell you? I told you didn't I? Pete, didn't I tell her?" Pete Tyler made some vague noises of agreement while trying to steer his wife towards the exit. "Oh but you wouldn't listen to me. And look there comes the groom himself! Don't try to stop me Pete I have words for that man! Thinks he can come and carry off my daughter just because he's saved the world. Well, I'll tell him..."

Rose shot a grateful look at her dad as he managed to impress on Jackie that perhaps it would be in her best interests not to be eaten if she wanted to tell the Doctor turned to the man in question as he came jogging up to her, his suit and hair rumpled. (Which, Rose decided, was really the best state for his hair to be in anyways).

"I've just told them that they should try reversing the polarity of the neutron flow in the cyberkynetic modulator. It should make the feedback circuit work now and-" He stopped as he took in his bride's appearance.

The white silk, while very becoming on Rose, was torn in several places and covered in dust. An irreparable tear cutting through the dress showed what its wearer thought about clothes that were inconvenient for running. He surveyed what was left of the bouquet, some petals and broken stems, wrapped in lace in her right hand.

And of course, the veil lying five feet away, never having stood a chance.

"Oh Rose, I'm so sorry." He ran a flustered hand through his hair as he tried to apologize. "Jackie was right wasn't she? I wanted this to be perfect, I really did."

"Oh I know you did." He couldn't read the tone of her voice, and she didn't meet his eyes either. He grew even more distraught, beginning to babble in his agitation.

"Except I don't know, these things just seem to happen to me. If we could do this all over again I would but you know the TARDIS becomes fixed in a timeline once it's there and I know I make a terrible husband and I really wouldn't blame you if you, you know- oh I'm so sorry Rose, I really am."

To his immense surprise Rose grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. She giggled at his blinking face as she pulled away.

"…Well. If I knew you liked amorphous, non-crystalline alien creatures this much I would've called them down more often." Then, "You're not mad?"

"No, Doctor, actually I'm quite mad. After all, I met a man who blew up my job when I first met him, has a time travelling blue box, and saves entire universes on a daily basis. And I'm marrying him! I think being mad is practically a requirement don't you think?"

The Doctor's grin grew wider and wider. "Don't forget the running."

"Oh of course, the running." Rose's grin mirrored his own, joyful, bright and full of love. "And we're never going to stop." This time, it was him that enveloped her in a tight embrace and placed his lips on hers.

Rose didn't know how long they kissed but it felt like it lasted ages before they heard someone self-consciously clearing their throat. They broke apart and looked to see a slightly blushing woman in a UNIT uniform.

"I'm, er, sorry to interrupt but we've located the source of the signal. It's on the roof of the department store across the street."

Rose and the Doctor looked at each other. "Right then, best be off eh?"

"Another department store. Just think of all those tormented shop girls, waiting for a mysterious stranger to liberate them."

"Well I suppose they'll need to find someone else then. I'm very much taken." The Doctor smiled at Rose, who smiled back at him. "Shall we then?"

He took her hand in his, just like that day so very long ago. Any other day for the people of London, England, the world, but for Rose, the day her life changed. An extraordinary day, and a very extraordinary man who came into her life and took her running across the universe. She had faced danger out of the darkest of her nightmares and seen wonders out of the brightest of her dreams. And all that she had seen, and all that she had experienced led her to this day.

The happiest day of her life, hand-in-hand with someone she loved and someone who loved her.

"Hold up, where are you two going?" The shrill voice came from one Jackie Tyler, Pete and a dishevelled priest trailing after her. "I don't think you've realized something here, so now listen-"

Still running, always running, the Doctor and Rose looked back at her and grinned. Jackie was right, they had forgotten something. Never letting go of their hands, they both yelled back at her, voices in unison.

"I do!"

With her other hand, Rose threw the remains of the bouquet into the air. She had finally found it; this was her 'forever'.

* * *

Wow this is my first fanfic in a while…is what I thought before I re-read and realized that this isn't a fanfic it's just a three thousand word tirade about Rose/Doctor feels. It would've been longer but I stopped and reminded myself that plot (however fluffy) shouldn't be used as just filler for my shipping rant. I could've just summed this up with: I want Rose and the Doctor to be happy and in love forever amen.


End file.
